-All the really good ideas have already been taken.
-People don't read books anymore.
-Writing books is hard.
-People don't like to read more than 140 words at a time.
-Books are so five years ago.
-Publishers won't publish your book unless it has been endorsed by twenty-five New York Times bestsellers and your mom is related to Oprah.
-Your mom isn't related to Oprah.
-Even after photoshop, your author photo still frightens small children.
-Writing books is hard.
-Your agent thinks your story about a killer lamp shade is juvenile and disgusting and asks you if you've considered getting another day job.
-Your mother-in-law read your latest manuscript then immediately called to ask your wife if her husband was feeling ill.
-It takes a long time to rewatch all of Lost. Again.
-You don't have time to write books.
-Oprah isn't your mom.
-Someone with your same name is already published and his books are juvenile and disgusting.
-Your agent doesn't exactly agree that Morgenheimer Tootmore is a good pen name.
-All the good ideas have already been taken.
-Your mother-in-law is concerned that you are spending too much time thinking about serial killers.
-Even after copying and pasting a different face onto your author photo, it still frightens small children.
-All the bad ideas have already been taken.
-Your mother-in-law is putting a restraining order on you.
-Your agent asks if you have any other skills, such as dog grooming or window cleaning.
-A publisher requests your book on the condition that you change the title and every word in the manuscript and Oprah adopts you.
-And finally, reason #1: It would just be so much easier to quit.
To all of you aspiring novelists out there, I say: Laugh in the face of reason and keep writing!
13 comments:
Forget Koontz and forget his book “What the Night Knows” (a ghost vengeance story, been there, done that), instead read a book that’s been BANNED like “America Deceived II” by E.A. Blayre III.
Last link (before Google Books bans it also]:
http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000190526
I am so glad I am not related to Oprah.
I don't know...I kinda like the name Tootmore. Better than Seymore Buts. =)
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Raquel,
Yikes! You're very right about that one.
Love the one about the author photo scaring small children! Mine scares me. ;)
James, I just watched your writing video! Hilarious! NEVER EVER QUIT!!!
Hilary
Hilary,
Thanks! Glad you liked the video. And I'm not planning on quitting anytime soon. :)
This list fills my soul with joy ^_^ I'll be reading it at my next writing meeting. Thanks for posting ^_^
Glad you like it! Don't quit!
Great post...
still laughing at all the Oprah references!
Sharon :)
Thanks, Sharon! Glad to share some laughs.
Did you quit?
Funny list. I actually quit writing because God told me to. I put years into it, published a couple of articles, wrote a novel, started editing it, and then boom, it was over. There are more important things in my life right now, though, so it's okay. I don't really see me starting up again, but anything is possible.
Post a Comment