Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Future!

"Welcome to the library of the future. This is where you will be in ten years. And here we are--"

"Where are the books?"

"Books? Oh, don't you know? Kids became uninterested in books five years ago. To keep them coming to the library, we installed these virtual reality gaming stations in place of bookshelves."

"What are they drinking?"

"It's the latest thing. All natural, sugar free, environmentally friendly NEVERSLEEP energy drink."

"They never sleep?"

"They don't have to! NEVERSLEEP supplies the body with all the nutrients it needs to function without ever sleeping."

"That doesn't sound very safe."

"Scientists have confirmed that there are no traceable side effects to the continual use of NEVERSLEEP."

"These kids don't look very happy."

"Why do you say that?"

"They aren't smiling."

"Their brains are plugged into the virtual reality systems. They're smiling in the virtual world, I can assure you of that."

"What exactly are they playing?"


"What do they do in there?"

"Anything they want! They can fly, ride dragons, fight monsters, build cities. And the best thing of all, there is no reading required to play the game."

"I thought this was the library. Isn't that what the library is all about? Reading?"

"The library is a place where we encourage the exploration of the world."

"But these kids aren't in the world. They're in Wonderland."

"They are learning social interaction."

"Are there any books here?"

"Right this way. And here we are."

"But this is only one bookshelf."

"We actually have more books here at this library than most around the nation."

"Doesn't anybody read in the future?"

"As you can see, there are many people at our digital book reader stations."

"Ah, I see that. Wait a minute! They aren't reading books. They're browsing the internet."

"Our digital book reader stations are state of the art and come with full internet browsing capabilities."

"Why aren't there any words on the internet?"

"The national No Illiterate Person Left Behind Act required all websites to remove any unecessary words from their sites to better serve the whole of mankind."

"This is unbeliveable."

"Yes, we pride ourselves on being with the times."

"Can I check out one of these books?"

"Uh, well, nobody is allowed to actually take any of these books from the library."


"These are actually the property of the government."

"Can I look at one of them?"

"They are incased in an airtight container."

"Do you have the key."


"So why are they here?"

"They serve as a reminder of how far we have evolved."

"Can you take me back now, please?"

"Oh, of course. And as a complimentary gift for visiting the future, I would like to offer you this sample can of NEVERSLEEP. It's the new flavor: Insomniberry."


"Thank you. Have a nice day. See you in ten years."