The Future!

"Welcome to the library of the future. This is where you will be in ten years. And here we are--"

"Where are the books?"

"Books? Oh, don't you know? Kids became uninterested in books five years ago. To keep them coming to the library, we installed these virtual reality gaming stations in place of bookshelves."

"What are they drinking?"

"It's the latest thing. All natural, sugar free, environmentally friendly NEVERSLEEP energy drink."

"They never sleep?"

"They don't have to! NEVERSLEEP supplies the body with all the nutrients it needs to function without ever sleeping."

"That doesn't sound very safe."

"Scientists have confirmed that there are no traceable side effects to the continual use of NEVERSLEEP."

"These kids don't look very happy."

"Why do you say that?"

"They aren't smiling."

"Their brains are plugged into the virtual reality systems. They're smiling in the virtual world, I can assure you of that."

"What exactly are they playing?"

"WORLD OF WONDER."

"What do they do in there?"

"Anything they want! They can fly, ride dragons, fight monsters, build cities. And the best thing of all, there is no reading required to play the game."

"I thought this was the library. Isn't that what the library is all about? Reading?"

"The library is a place where we encourage the exploration of the world."

"But these kids aren't in the world. They're in Wonderland."

"They are learning social interaction."

"Are there any books here?"

"Right this way. And here we are."

"But this is only one bookshelf."

"We actually have more books here at this library than most around the nation."

"Doesn't anybody read in the future?"

"As you can see, there are many people at our digital book reader stations."

"Ah, I see that. Wait a minute! They aren't reading books. They're browsing the internet."

"Our digital book reader stations are state of the art and come with full internet browsing capabilities."

"Why aren't there any words on the internet?"

"The national No Illiterate Person Left Behind Act required all websites to remove any unecessary words from their sites to better serve the whole of mankind."

"This is unbeliveable."

"Yes, we pride ourselves on being with the times."

"Can I check out one of these books?"

"Uh, well, nobody is allowed to actually take any of these books from the library."

"What?"

"These are actually the property of the government."

"Can I look at one of them?"

"They are incased in an airtight container."

"Do you have the key."

"No."

"So why are they here?"

"They serve as a reminder of how far we have evolved."

"Can you take me back now, please?"

"Oh, of course. And as a complimentary gift for visiting the future, I would like to offer you this sample can of NEVERSLEEP. It's the new flavor: Insomniberry."

"Uh."

"Thank you. Have a nice day. See you in ten years."

Gettin' Better!

Working through the second draft of my fourth novel, I've noticed some things about my writing. I'm not dead yet. I'm getting better.

The dialogue is better, the pacing is tighter, the characters are deeper. I've actually come across a few lines that really seemed good. Did I write that? Oh, yeah. I did. Aren't I the greatest?

I also notice some things I need to work on. I need to work on my dialogue, my pacing, my characterization. I've come across a few lines that really didn't seem good. Did I write that? Oh. Yeah. Ew.

Writing is like anything in life: You can always get better. I think the first step to realizing how to get better is to realize that you can get better. I never want to become the author who thinks he has it all figured out. I've written eighty bestsellers now and whatever I write should be published instantly because readers everywhere will love it and they should love it because I am Me and Me is amazing and no I will not remove those adverbs.

The day I think I've got it all figured out as a writer is the day I become stale. I don't like stale things. They're not yummy. I don't want to be un-yummy.

So I pull out the soap and the washcloth and scrub away at my manuscript. I'll get it cleaned up. I'll make it the best I can. I'll give it everything I've got. And when all is said and done and the book is published and readers are using it as kindling, I will have learned how to become a better writer because I will never think I know it all.

Because I don't.

I know that.

Are We Losing It?

Look at the wall. Do you see that? Do you see that thing hanging there? That is your brain.

How's it looking today? Shriveled? Lively? Needing some exercise?

Sudoku and brain games are all over the place these days. What is your brain age? In a society where we are so eager for entertainment that helps to turn off our brains, isn't it ironic that we would be so concerned about getting those little gray cells in shape?

The Tube. I'm talking about that big old, 55" thing hanging on the wall. Do you see that? Do you see that thing hanging there? That is your brain.

James is a TV hater! James hates television!

When you come home, you turn on the TV and go take a shower. The living room couch enjoys the late afternoon filler shows. The poor couch has been lonely without it's soap operas and gossip gabfests.

James hates soap operas! Gossip gabfest hater!

After your shower, you get a bowl of ice cream. It is chocolate mint. It is your favorite. You only put in three scoops because you noticed your profile in the mirror.

Profiler!

Ah, it is good to be home. You have spent all day dealing with people you don't like. You deserve some time to unwind. Life is hard, and you should know, you live life everyday. You get up and have a bowl of Fruit Loops and go to work and pretend to be happy and then you come home and are too exhausted to do anything but watch TV.

You know. You know that life is hard.

The ice cream helps.

On the TV, someone is cheating on someone and there is a goldfish involved. On another channel, someone is getting a new house because the sewer backed up and they didn't have money to fix it and they cried a lot and you noticed that they were wearing designer jeans and your daughter wanted a pair of those but you said no because they cost $139.99 and that's just outrageous.

Designer jeans Nazi!

Your favorite show is on tonight. It comes on at nine. It is five-thirty. What are you going to do until then?

Maybe you will take a nap. Life is hard.

The ice cream is good. You almost get some more, but remember your profile in the mirror. You resist. Your spouse will be happy about that. Once upon a time, you were as thin as the person on the TV. That person on the TV can't be real. They must have used special effects or something. People aren't really that good-looking.

There are over 300 channels on your TV. Aren't you something? Not everybody has 300 channels and a 55" TV, and can sit on their microfiber couch and eat chocolate mint ice cream. But you can. Because you know. You know that life is hard. And you get up every day and go to work and you deserve this time. You deserve it. Oh yeah. Totally.

Zealot! Hater! Hypocrite!

Okay. So I watch the thing too. I don't have cable or satellite, but most evenings my wife and I sit down and enjoy a movie or a TV show on DVD. It's relaxing. It's usually enjoyable. I look forward to it.

Why the rag on TV?

Here's the thing. TV has become our go-to for entertainment. It has also become the most-hired babysister in America. This is cause for concern. Have you looked at some of the cartoons kids are watching? Oh boy. They are mindless, gross, rude, negative. If this is what our children are going to become, then Houston, we have a serious problem.

I mean, look. This is the dude who is baby-sitting your kids. Would you trust this guy with your cat, much less your offspring?

I have two kids of my own. We limit their TV time. Some people would say we are teaching them that TV is evil. They get to watch about three or four hours worth of TV a week.

TV Hater! Fun Hater!

Yesterday, my three-year-old son spent about four hours playing with Legos. Most of the time by himself. His imagination was soaring.

Imagination.

How much imagination does it take to watch TV?

Imagination is beautiful. It changes the world. It brings us art, it brings us new inventions, it builds bridges, it makes us believe in fantasy.

I don't want to lose that. I don't want my kids to lose that.

See the world in ten years. See the world without imagination. Do you see it? Do you see it hanging there on the wall? Deflated, flat, colorless, dull, meaningless.

Today, use your imagination. Don't turn on the TV. Draw a picture. Read a book. Play a board game. Run through the house with your kids. Hide from dinosaurs. Be who you wish you were.

Imagine that.

AMAZING 3D!

My dad and I went to see Alice In Wonderland yesterday in AMAZING 3D! If you haven't seen Avatar or Alice and experienced the wonder that is RealD, then you're missing out. This isn't the red/blue, queasy 3D of the past. This is the future of moviemaking, a future in which movie-goers leave the cinemas with red marks on their noses and huge Cheshire Cat smiles on their faces.

The new technology got me thinking about the longevity of movie formats. From VHS to DVD to BluRay and now to RealD, it seems impossible to keep up with the ultimate way to enjoy film. Before we know it, those BluRay discs we're buying for twenty bucks will be in the five dollar bin because everybody will be buying the thirty dollar RealD movies.

Movies and movie-making techniques are constantly evolving. They have to. We get used to bigger-than-life special effects, we get used to High Definition, we want more. I think 3D is the future of movies, but I don't think it will last long. Something new will come out. Give it five years and we'll all be putting on glasses that allow us to look all the way around at a 360 degree movie. And it won't stop there.

Books are different. You don't need the new HD bookshelf or the goofy glasses or the three thousand dollar surround sound system to get the complete experience of the latest bestselling novel. In ten years, that book will still be full color, high-def, 3D, 360 degree, and full of smells, emotions, feelings, and wonders that will never require you to spend all of your tax return at Best Buy to enjoy.

Long live the book!

Braindead

When was the last time that you were impressed with the number of movies your friend has watched?

"I can't believe it! You've actually seen every single one of these movies? That's incredible! You are incredible."

Anyone can watch a movie. It takes two hours (four if it's directed by Peter Jackson) and all you have to do is turn off you brain and keep your eyes open.

My three-year-old is a pro. When he gets to watch a movie, you can literally see his brain go into hibernate mode. Glazed eyes. Rigor mortis. He's in the zone.

"Josiah. Josiah. Hello?"

When was the last time you were impressed with the number of books your friend has read?

"You went on vacation for a week and read twelve books? What'd you do, sit in the hotel the whole time?"

Reading is entertainment. It is enjoyable, engaging, suspenseful, transportational ( if it's not a word, it should be), and good for your brain.

That last one is the clincher.

I'm not bashing TV or movies. I'm really not. But tell me, how much brain power does it require to watch the old Tube? Seriously?

When reading, we have to recognize words, sentences, punctuation, paragraphs, and then process it all in our brain before we can conjure up a visual image of what is happening. Sure, this takes milliseconds, but our brain is still spinning and working to create those scenes.

Reading is hard work. We feel a sense of accomplishment when we finish a book because we had to think to keep track of all the characters, the plot twists, the setting. And it took us almost ten hours to finish the thing. We put it back on the shelf and smile a little.

"I read this whole book."

It feels good.

Reading is also a solitary act. You don't usually invite your friends over to read a book together. Yeah, it happens, but reading out loud is even more tiring than reading to yourself.

So finishing a book means that you have worked to process the words, you have used your brain to create visual scenes, and you have shunned the rest of the world in order to commit the necessary time to get through the pages.

Is it worth it? Why not just watch movies? I mean, when I get to the end of the day, I want to relax. I don't want to bother my synapses. They need some good R and R, know what I'm saying?

This all comes down to the question: Is it a good book?

Who wants to go to all the work and family-shunning required to get through a tome when said tome is BORING? Readers today just don't have time for it. I don't blame them. I have two kids and a lovely wife who I'd much rather spend time with than ten pages of description without even a hiccup of dialogue.

Some would cry foul. You just aren't patient enough, James. Give it a try.

Yeah. You're right. Okay, Moby Dick, let's tell the kids to go play without Daddy so I can read about the details of whale blubber.

I just mocked Moby Dick. Now I'm going to get it.

Writers today must write for today's readers. I'm writing for people like me. People in their twenties and thirties who probably have kids, or at least are attending college, or holding a job, or they are lazy bums still living with their mom, but whatever the case, they just don't have the time or energy to read a boring book.

I'm competing with Spider-Man 4, Batman 3, Avatar 2, Saw 66. If I expect to have a chance, then my books have to be engaging to the point that you forget that you are exercising your brain and ignoring your family.

You know, I could have picked an easier career to pursue. Something like a spinal surgeon, perhaps.

Fuzzy Bats

There have been a lot of books published in the last decade. There have been a lot of good books published. There have been some great ones too.

From time to time on this blog, I want to highlight some of the books published in the last decade that I've enjoyed and try to explain why I think they're better than good.

Great Read: Black by Ted Dekker

It was a daring premise that could have fallen flat on its face. I'm not talking about a guy who goes back and forth between worlds when he falls asleep; that's a sound idea in my mind. I'm talking about talking bats. The fluffy, fuzzy type.

BLACK: THE BIRTH OF EVIL: A book about cute little animals.

How did Dekker make this work? Why did it work so well that he not only wrote two more books in this universe, but later went on to write over ten books linked to this story?

Black was different. It was fantasy, but there were no elves or dwarves in sight. We saw the story through a modern day guy who was a bit of a smart aleck. He thought the fuzzy white bats were crazy, and so did we, and so it was okay. I think what made this book work so well for me wasn't the concept (which was awesome), wasn't the unique fantasy elements (which were fantastic), wasn't the political intrigue (which was intense)--no, in the end, it was Thomas Hunter.

I liked the guy. He wasn't a super hero, but neither was he a wimp. He didn't spend pages and pages gawking at this amazing new world he found himself in. He believed it. He loved it. He wanted to live it because it was real to him.

Black remains my favorite book by Ted Dekker, and holds a solid spot in my top ten favorite novels. If you haven't read it, don't let the fuzzy white bats scare you. There's plenty of not-so-fuzzy black bats to even things out.

So let's hear it: What is one of your favorite novels from the last decade?

Fear

My current work-in-progress falls into the horror genre. In the past, this has been something of a niche market--the dark little corner in the back of the bookstore where the shelves are sagging under the weight of Stephen King and Dean Koontz (who, by the way, does not belong here).

Recently however, horror as a genre seems to be disappearing. Not that horror books aren't being written--they just aren't getting stuck back in that corner. Some bookstores don't even have a horror section anymore.

Why?

I think it's because horror nowadays requires more than a scary monster and a desperate woman running for her life through the woods only to take refuge in a house that has been abandoned for a hundred years. I mean, come on. Who would ever make a horror movie with that kind of plot?

So why do people like to watch and read horror?

Simple. People like to be scared. But not just scared--they like to be safe and scared.

James, you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

It's a theory, okay. I'm not an expert on why people like to freak themselves out. People confuse me. As my dad says: "People are some of the dumbest humans on earth."

The theory: Readers and viewers flock to horror stories because it gives them a chance to face their own fears in a safe environment where if they fail or are overcome, it won't matter. We want to be brave. We want to be strong and overcome the things that make us quiver in our flip-flops.

The thing we fear the most probably isn't that dead girl standing at the end of the hall. More likely it is the thought of revealing a secret we've kept hidden, or giving up something we know is wrong, or the fear that we will fail and lose it all.

In my opinion, good horror is much more than a haunted house and an ambling ghoul looking for revenge. Good horror pokes and prods at the deepest psychological issues that we all face. It asks questions about anger, commitment, bravery, love and faith.

Too deep? Maybe. Maybe people enjoy horror stories simply because they are suspenseful and you MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Maybe.

Do you read or watch horror stories? Why? What's your favorite?

Turning Pages

So I started Hold Tight last night, a novel by Harlan Coben. The man knows how to write.

I'm intrigued as to what makes a book a page-turner. I suppose it is different for everyone; what makes me stay up late at night reading might be just the thing to help you get some sleep.

I like it when my eyes can move down the page quickly. If I start to feel like Lawrence of Arabia crossing the desert just to get to the next page, I'm apt to be closing that book much sooner than later.

I'm not saying that every sentence and paragraph should be short, or that every scene should have action and high stakes, but I like things to go somewhere. More than two or three pages of character contemplation and I start to get uncomfortable. I'm moving around the couch, thinking about getting something to eat, thinking about the upcoming episode of Lost, thinking about thinking about something else besides this book.

Okay, okay, I know that characters need to have times of contemplation. There's plenty of cardboard characters out there moving from one car explosion to the next. I get it. But is it too much to ask to at least have the character doing something while he is traveling down memory lane?

James picked his nose. Yeah, that about summed up his life. Always digging for something out of reach, always getting his fingers into someplace where they didn't belong. And what had it got him? Nothing. He still had to jam that saline rinse up his nostrils and tickle his eyeballs with the spray.

If only he could go down to RiteAid and buy a saline rinse for his stinking life. Wash out some of these boogers. Some of the big nasties like Filbert Dilbert, his boss who was skating on over to his desk to tell him once again just how worthless he was.

Gross, I know. But look, this James character is thinking about how rotten his life is, but he's not just a brain in a chair. He's a dude with his finger up his nose. Nose-pickers are so much more interesting than people who pause everything to think about their life for five hundred words.

Yawn.

Harlan Coben has this figured out. His characters are always doing something, even if it's just walking across the room. I can see them thinking, talking, whatever it is. And he's good enough that he doesn't have to resort to nose picking to make his characters come alive.

Harlan Coben has me turning pages. Who has you turning pages?

Never Give Up! Never Surrender!

So the rejections rolled in this week. They were nice, they've all been nice from the beginning. Usually it's something like this: "We like what James has done here, but it just isn't quite right for us. Best of luck."

What do I do when I get REJECTED? Do I pout? Do I mope? Do I wag my head and say I'm worthless?

Well . . . maybe a little.

But then! Then I raise my fists in defiance and scream, "Never give up! Never surrender! Write to the death!"

And someday, someday when that oh so smart and good looking editor offers me a contract, I will scream, "FREEDOM!" Until I see the editorial notes on my manuscript.

I dare ya

I love to start things. I love even more to end things.

Take chapters for instance. The first line of a chapter needs to give the reader a reason to continue. Consider this opening line from chapter 27 of my WIP (Work In Progress):

"I was wrong," Patrick said.

You want to know what Patrick was wrong about, don't you? It's simple, but it's enough.

I'm certainly not an expert, but I do spend a good amount of time carefully considering how I start each chapter. I've learned from my own reading what does and doesn't work for me.

Long, drawn out paragraphs involving mostly the thoughts of the character are not very inviting to me. Openings like these can work if they are far enough into the novel that I already care about the character, but I don't want to know all the emotional and psychological problems of the character before I even know where they are, how they talk, what they're doing, and if they have nice hair or not.

Nice hair is important in a character. Bad hair is even more important.

More than starting a chapter, I like to end one. When a reader comes to the end of a chapter, they are reaching for their bookmark. It's a reasonable place to stop reading, especially if the chapter is a real long one (which they never should be, by the way--I'm just too impatient for long chapters, and so are you).

If the first line of a chapter is the bait, the last should be the hook.

"But I can't stop reading! I have to find out if they get out of their car before the semi rams into them! Also, he was about to tell her that he loved her, but now they might die before he can! And besides, the next chapter is only four pages, so I can start making dinner in five minutes. I have not been reading already for two hours."

Here's the last line of chapter 21 of my WIP:

She was carrying a gun.

Now close the book and don't read the next line. Come on, I dare ya.

What is one of the best chapter openings or endings you've ever read?